Solitude and Loneliness

Gathering Prayer: Holy One who is known to us by many names and in many ways, we give thanks for the blessings that we have in our lives. Be present now as we enter a time of thought and discussion.

Focus: Each of the three Abrahamic religions has a wilderness experience in its story. Moses and the Israelites spent years wandering; Abraham sent Hagar and Ishmael into the wilderness; the Spirit led Christ there. Likewise, the Buddha wandered for years before meditating under the Bodhi tree; MLK was in the Birmingham jail and Mandela on Robben Island at the hands of their oppressors; Gandhi chose personal solitude and fasting; Lincoln found governing a nation at war with itself a deeply isolating responsibility; Thoreau sought clarity in the solitude of the cabin on Walden Pond. Everyone has experiences, “wilderness moments”, seasons of isolation, fatigue, or deep self-reflection; Often these experiences lead to new insights or understandings.Tonight, we reflect on these.

Sentences on the Subject:

“I can assure you that it would have been much shorter if I had been writing from a comfortable desk, but what else can one do when he is alone in a narrow jail cell, other than write long letters, think long thoughts, and pray long prayers?” MLKing

I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part, more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. A man thinking or working is always alone, let him be where he will. Solitude is not measured by the miles of space that intervene between a man and his fellows.HDThoreau

“Our language has wisely sensed these two sides of being alone. It has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone, and it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone” PTillich

Below is some “food for thought”, a few probes that might kick-start a conversation.

Read over them and pick one (or more, or none) to discuss. Remember to hold space for others to share and share only what you feel comfortable sharing.

Probe 1. Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Does being alone seem like time in jail or the seclusion of a cabin? Do you have a fortress of solitude?

Probe 2. Is the modern “noise” (social media, constant connectivity) preventing us from the solitude that might be required to de-stress, problem solve, or spend time in introspection?

Probe 3. A liminal or “thin space” is a threshold, in spiritual terms,a place where the distance between heaven and earth feels thinner. God seems closer. You feel more at peace and confident. The mindset of most people is that heaven and earth are separated by a considerable distance. That being said, at certain times,some places on earth just seem to be thin in the sense that the separation between heaven and earth is reduced. Do you have a personal “thin space”, a place where you feel close to God or a spiritual presence?

Probe 4. The wilderness, whether physical or psychological, can be a dangerous space. Christ met Satan there; MLK navigated the “long desert slog” of segregation; Mandela traveled the “savage road (of apartheid) to which nobody should be condemned”, and Lincoln fought the devils of despair. What’s the antidote to this type of wilderness experience?

Commission: Hold on to what is good. Love deeply. Honor others. Stay excited about life and your faith. Be joyful. Be patient. If you pray, have faith. Share with people who are in need. Welcome others into your homes. Be loving to those who hurt you. Be present; be in the moment. Be agreeable, even with those with whom you disagree. Be humble. Be a friend of people who aren’t considered important. Do the right thing. If possible, live in peace with everyone. And remember, no matter who you are, or where you are on life’s journey- you are welcome here.